This post has been a work in progress . . .
My heart has actually been smiling for a while now, but I couldn't quite figure out how to communicate it.
When Kyle and I first started into missions, the part I would play as a nurse on the mission field was always something we assumed would happen. Kyle didn't, and still doesn't, have any problem with me having a ministry centered around my nursing training. It makes sense.
I'm a nurse, I love people, I love helping them = I love ministering to people through my nursing.
But, as the Care Home ministry (where I worked as a nurse to dying HIV+ women) was coming to an end and the pastoral training program that Kyle is involved in started picking up momentum, my heart started getting excited about different things.
I was SO excited . . . to see my husband SO excited about the potential of teaching Zulu pastors.
For the first time, I wasn't wondering what I was going to do- how was I going to use my nursing skills- how was God going to use me?
For the first time, I couldn't imagine anything more exciting or more fulfilling than supporting my husband in this new adventure. Even if that included putting my nursing training to the sidelines for a time.
So, my heart is smiling. Smiling because it feels so right to encourage, support and pray for my husband's ministry. Smiling because he is smiling. Smiling because I feel like a dark, selfish corner of my heart has been cleaned out by the Holy Spirit.